* It amuses me somewhat whenever people automatically assume that when I say or write "party", I mean "crazy wild party". :D Niiiice. #fb
* I seem to have survived all seven parties without liver damage. It feels good to be home. I'm a bit tired, I'll admit it. #fb
* I went from a party with 3 girls doing a striptease to a party with women making out. I can't stress this enough... I love my life. #fb
* So you all know, a major accident at the El Portal Drive exit is blocking traffic for like three exits on Highway 80 East. #fb
* The one thing I love more than ditching sports car drivers who try to race me is ditching 'em while their girlfriends are in the car. #fb
* You can tell the party you attended was epic when you wake up on a couch with an empty shot glass still in your hand. #fb
I wanna see a nativity scene with a little plastic Kanye West interuppting it.
* I have SEVEN parties to go to between now and 11:00pm Sunday. Half of me is saying, "fuck yeah", and half is saying "fuck my life". #fb